This year Ramzan just ran full speed. Seems like just yesterday that taraweeh started and the first sehri happened. Alhamdolillah, ramzan gone by, availed in the best possible way i could.
I made lots of prayers this ramzan, availed all the big nights*allah shukr*. Of upcoming new beginnings in life, i was bugged a lot this ramzan with ‘last ramzan at home, next year with hubby?’. It was a mix of feelings, totally looking forward to the new change in life, while i felt ammi’s voice go shaky. A random burst of emotions from the parents collectively, a t-shirt project with saad for independence day and crazy wakeup calls. This ramzan has been a big learning experience. A friends dad passed away on Jumat-ul-Widah, the last precious friday of the holy month. He was lucky enough to be buried in the holy land aka Makkah. It shook me. Ive been hearing of his health going down. May allah mian give the family sabr. Ameen.
A skype date with ada and family is a total must on Eid. With manoo and mehru jumping around in Eid attire with mehendi stories to share. Sooo much fun
The most happiest FAQ this ramzan was,’EIDI aaiygi is saal?*wink wink*’. hahahaaa… yes, the other set of parents, the inlaws bought my clothes for eid with chooriyaan and shoes. Alhamdolillah such a good feeling. Eid was different this time. Amidst running around meeting relatives, hubby-to-be came over to meet us while we went to meet the inlaws too. The bestest newest feeling, receiving Eidi from MIL and Hubby-to-be
With everyones blessings, looking forward to the big change in life
Allah mian Thankyouu, im loving this plan of yours.
Missed the rooftop the most, caught a glimpse of chand mian on Eid day 2. sigh. Good times those were. *throws confetti* just because missing good times is celebratory enough
From saying YES to *smiles* to being happily ringed. One and a half months down the happy-lane of life, its been great. Alhamdolillah. From family to friends, from siblings to change in relationships. Allah mian Thankyou oh so veryyy much for everything. I understand how hard times just cross by, making us stronger way more than we ever thought. Nani, living this life to see me as a mini-bride. She was the MOST sparkly eyed person around. With Nani, the parents and parents-in-laws we exchanged rings amidst laughter, big happy smiles and friends who stood by us all happy and proud!.
A new chapter in life has begun and im totally loving this.
ps. Allah mian, im loving THIS plan of yours. You know the prayers im making, waiting for them to be answered, i know they will be when the time is right
photo credit: R|Photography
This is to thankyou for being oh SO mehrbaan on us. Alhamdolillah.
Thankyou for giving me all what i have today, for giving me strength and will to do things how i do them. Thankyou for giving me the best family I could have ever asked for and for friends who care like theres no tomorrow. Theres sooo much to be thankful for. Please please continue to be mehrbaan on me.
Faith in God, includes faith in His timing’ – Neal A.Maxwell
Being a teacher has been a great experience so far. Every day I tend to learn something new. Be it regarding a student, myself, design, color or just life in general. Just 5 days back me and Sabiha (another faculty member, friend and sister) took the 3rd year students for a study visit to Abbottabad to study crafts for a project. We were a group of 31 individuals- all girls- 2 teachers and 29 students. They say girls are always a bunch of FUN! True that. There was music, singing, work, sketches, clicking, arguments, laughter, dance, food, walks in the rain, prayers, bathroom lines and emergency loo breaks. We took the Bhoja air flight till Islamabad.
2 days later we hear of a Bhoja Air plane crash. Hell ran over us. There was chaos. Alhamdolillah we all were safe but fellow humans had passed away. 127 of them. It wasnt easy to take it in knowing that we DID come from Bhoja Air and were booked for the same to return back to khi. The girls were traumatized, they cried. Ran over to me for a hug. I HAD to keep calm and give them the faith that it’ll be alright. Inshallah we will be able to reach home safe. Switched flights to PIA. Chucked down a day from the trip since we got a flight a day before. There was a delay in flight, waited patiently, tired to the core, to reach home, see the family and hit bed.
All kinds of thoughts occurred in my head… overflowing negativity, weird feeling of being away from home. Anything could have happened, CAN happen. But travelling alone and being responsible for a large group of students are two different things. Keeping calm and giving comforting hugs was what I did. Alhamdolillah the students felt secure. They smiled, they laughed. They felt better
All those wonderful people who made it to Allah mian had goals to achieve, lives to live. All gone in a jiffy. Say a lil prayer for them and their families. *amen*
Faith in Allah mian and calls from friends and family is what kept me going… yes I did feel a knot in the throat but im only human to feel that way. Experiences like these teach me SO much. About people, about life, about handling things, about keeping calm, giving faith and smiling
Allah mian, Thankyou for being SO meherbaan on all of us. You sure are the one Who writes the Master Plan.
Apologies for being totally out of the loop. So much has happened in the past 2 months that im overloaded with thoughts and ideas and the likes. need to update this journal of life on.a.serious note. Last night was weird.Brain overload.hateful feeling.blurry vision.winds blowing.mosquitoes biting.uneasy.knot in the throat.heart-calming phone call.chand mian popping up, proving that YES there is a connection.broken sleep.early rising.work mode on.
On a happier note, talking things out helps. Always.
Allah Mian, Thankyou for being SO meherbaan on us always.
I wouldn’t deny that, My Nani, my confidant, my friend and quota of special prayers is a whole lot of frosting in my life. Most kids are given into their mothers hands when they are born while I was the lucky one who was first given into Nani’s arms and then Ammi’s. Being the only girl in the maternal equation, I share a very special bond with Nani.
She was diagnosed with diabetes the day I was born she says. So this killer-godforsaken-disease (I’d like to call it that) has now sucked out the life out of her. Lately she’s been really unwell, not going into details. I didn’t know one could be this brave with life but going through so much pain without complaining is a big deal. Mashallah.
There are so many things in life you don’t feel till a certain incident becomes a close eye-opener for you. Be it something you go through or a close one does. It feels the same. I fall short on words describing the situation and my lips start trembling and my eyes water. Her illness has been such a lifelong lesson regarding SO many things.
I couldn’t have asked for a better grandparent than her. The love, the bond and blessings. I am so grateful to Allah mian to have been able to spend so many years of my life in her nest.
*allah mian please* Make it behtar for her. Ameen.
…i just walk out to the rooftop and breathe. Breathe in the fresh air.
The cold windy breeze.. i shut my eyes and breathe in deep.
The freshness that reaches my lungs makes me smile.
While the stars and chand mian shine down upon me…
I hug the winds and smile
Allah mian… THANKYOU!
Please continue to be meherbaan… please. Ameen.
Lifes at a total high at the moment. With Nani feeling better and my heart being content with all what I got, theres really SO much to be thankful for that I don’t think any post can do justice to it but yes for my own record. The yr 2012 is here! I say, this should be a year of change. A good change…a better change, Inshallah.
I am currently in the land of the shaykhs aka Dubai(staying at sharjah). A long awaited vacation, the best of its kind since it revolves around my nieces, M n M. Manoo has been more excited than I’d ever be for phupo coming over and sharing her room. There are countless moments in the day when I’m hugged and kissed and thanked for ‘coming to dubai and having so much fun’ and mehru lovingly follows what apa has to do so for phupo it’s a double dose of awesomeness! Alhamdolillah. Whatta precious! Thanks to Ada and Mayg Api for having me over. Its been 2 days and its awesome. A separate post would be good about the trip altogether
In other news, switched to an HTC. So yes, theres been progression. At first a qwerty and now a qwerty + touch and THAT too HTC chacha! So the phone reached me as a surprise, earlier than expected. Totally left me in awe and happy in my heart type. Allah Mian Thankyou.
Heres to welcoming 2012 with open arms, with more challenges and plans on the list. May Allah mian make them jaaiz and easy to fulfill for me. 2011 was awesome, Allah mian? So whats the plan Faith high, UP in the sky!
Happy new year ya’ll!
ps96: Happy birthday oh precious!
Last night I couldnt sleep mostly because I took a power nap and woke up post midnight to cover up on pending work. There was discomfort. A weird dream during the power nap is what I vaguely remember. Didnt give it much thought and it disappeared or maybe not. I wasnt thinking yet there was something bothering me… Ya know the heavy hearted feeling. I shut the lid to the laptop and decided to walk outside. Breathe in some fresh air and smile with the stars… The stars never let me down. I thought of Nana, Wado Baba, Haji Ama and Bibi last night. The wonders Nana’s presence would have done to me at this point in time. The duas Haji Ama and Bibi showered upon me all my life. *Blessings*
Allah Mian, Thankyou
ps. not my own image, found it online.
Today, I smiled.
I smiled when i saw a smile
I smiled when I heard the song
I smiled when the winds hit my face
When my ponytail flew with the wind
I shut my eyes and took a deep breath
With my eyes closed, I smiled big
I smiled when I saw stars
I smiled when my hands got cold
And warmth touched me
I smiled when the car took a U turn
I smiled big and satisfied.
Alhamdolillah for the wonderful things in life
*Thankyou Allah Mian*
Promptly at 11am we drove in the gates of Karachi University and I smiled KU, a place where I was longing to visit for almost 8 years till yesterday. Hearing about all what the university had to offer, I was excited to visit. It was HUGE, the campus is like a city on its own. It was refreshing. Greenery all around, cafeteria spaces not one; but many. It was a very good feeling, the fact that I was finally visiting KU but also the fact that I was called in for a jury *big thing* Alhamdolillah!
So it was a jury for the architecture students who had designed a school space for refugee kids at the Burma-thai border and were meaning to incorporate traditional crafts like weaving and basketry. Sehr, who had invited me was equally excited on the idea that I was visiting for the first time. She said that PG kay tiny samosay were a MUST! So yes, I had those samosas. They were yummilicious.
I was given a brief tour, the stairs, the cafeteria where the rangers sat. She said the visual studies department building was one building with 3 ramps, and that was one of a kind. I was there for a couple of hours. Must say it was a veryyy refreshing experience. Sehr, Chayya and Salman – good company
Allah mian, Thankyou
With ammi baba being back to town, things are awesomely family oriented and yes thats a BIG smile. Someone to look forward to when you come home from work, sehri’s and iftars were great this time round. Though the rozas were looooong.. 15 hours or so but we managed pretty well. Thanks to Allah that we had gorgeous weather throughout the blessed month. somedays were tiring, exhausting and hectic but Alhamdolillah a well spent ramzan. With workload and time for a heart to heart session with Allah mian was managed pretty well
Chand raat was spent with friends and later at home applying mehendi – MY way
Eid came and Ada and family were missed. Eid in karachi was SO much fun. Though we were home most of the time but still… it rained. Allah mian literally showered us with His blessings. Alhamdolillah. Beautiful rain on eid. Amazing breakfast. Skype with the family in Dxb Family values right there.. yes they make me happy
Beautifully wrapped Eidi from saad made my day <3
3rd say of eid was Ami’s birthday. We celebrated like theres no tomorrow. A Midnight donut party and ended the day with a nandos family dinner which made ammi very happy. Alhamdolillah
ps. i love mehendi and yes Nandos cake and peri bites are PURE indulgence
Life as we know it. With the current situation around the city….
Ya Allah, Mercy.
Finally, karachi saw a little of the rain. Veryyyy little but it brought the mitti ki khushbu that one longs for. the pressure built up, humidity… and eventually it poured leaving me in awe after i saw the beautiful sky. Amidst the greys appeared a streak of orange.. What a beauty! SubhanAllah. The after effects left me happy, with winds blowing.
Thankyou Allah Mian
So lately I’ve been reading Tuesdays with Morrie (again). Cant get enough of that book. How life is for most of us, how we deal with it, how we should deal with it, looking back at it later how we should have dealt with it. Life had a different meaning till a few years back. Things changed, people changed, I changed, times changed.. circumstances keep changing. Sometimes a downer, most of the times a wow-er Life is the biggest of tests we’re going through. Rough patches make us tougher and stronger than we were before. We start looking at things differently. We think maturely, we become mature… and I say that is for the better. There are some who give up, most of them fight it… like I do.
Nobody said this life would be easy. Everyday is a challenge; be it work, family, projects, clients, siblings, friends, close friends or your own faith. Theres so much happening around us everyday that the day runs by. I stop and think.. WHERE are we going? WHAT is happening? WHY is this happening? So yes I am as inquisitive as child who wants to know all the W’s of it all! Sometimes i have answers in front of me and at other times I look for them.
Talking to a friend about faith last night, he said everybody needs to go through it on their own to believe in how things work. One cant impose it on them. I thought to myself, when I talk about faith in whatever happens, happens for a reason and that it is what Allah Mian wrote for us.. Am I imposing it on people? or am I just sharing it with them and giving them hope that yes it WILL become better (that was just me thinking out aloud).
Later he shared these lyrics and I couldnt stop smiling…
Slipping away, I think I’m gonna crack
Misplaced trust, loyalty stabbed in the gut
I feel, I’m seeing so clear
I thought I was never coming back
I’ve been down for awhile,
And now I’m coming back…
Realizations hit hard! I think i have a bump on my head because of it.
Karachi is burning yet again. The city of lights is quiet and haunting. The rooftop session today was lonesome. I made Chai and decided to sit outside, breathe in some fresh air and erase the crappiness and all the bad news coming in from all sides all day… but to no avail. Even the stars didn’t shine on me tonight. Weird awkwardness in the air. Just as I decided to walk back in, a no-cloud patch appears and Chand Mian shines on me. It’s a full moon night.. Allah Mian? Whats happening?
Take away all the negativity around us. Bring back the stars. I like them shining on me… not hiding like scared twinkles under the clouds. Bring ‘em back I say!
Make things better, please?
Art Lootmar II, happened on the 18th and 19th of June 2011. It was an event I was looking forward to. Had always been part of T2f(The second floor) virtually so was excited to be part of this exhibit amongst 12 other young artists. I was participating with my work from Ghazal Pirzada Creeative Studios. There was Anam Haleem(a friend and brother), Friends from Kaghaz kay karnamay, Mahin and the Ayesha’s from the Indus clan and a few others part of the troop. The first day went by great! With friends, family, colleagues and other artists from the community visiting, the highlight was Haider Ali’s live demo on his Truck Art paintings. The evening went by fast and I left for home happy and very satisfied with my participation at the Art Lootmar II at T2f.
The second day which was a Sunday, the show was open from 12pm onwards. We(me, S and Anam) decided to go in the evening. We reached around 6 and were to leave around 9 after pack up. It was the last day for the exhibit. We sat and chatted. T2f has a very comfortable and casual setting to it. We sat on the floor,resting on the bricked pillars, clicking pictures. I got a message from R(another brother) that if we were at T2f and that he was dropping by. It was around 8 when he and 2 friends walked in. After greeting them, they saw my work… Anams work and were now on a round to check other artists work while S and A went out for a smoke break saying.. we’ll be back in a bit.
With all the good, came in the bad.
I clicked a picture of R and Y, while they checked out Uth Oye! shirts and asked which one was better. The next thing I hear is this armed guy telling me ‘aap camera wali madam, neechay hojain’. My first thought, who the hell are YOU!? then I was pulled away by someone and I heard someone saying ‘these are thieves, sit down’ :!
There were around 30 or so people at T2f that instance including artists and the staff at T2f. We were all asked to sit down in a corner. Apparently there were 4 men and out of which 2 were armed. Where I sat, the pillar was right in front of me so all I saw was 1 guy pointing his gun on us on and off asking for everything we had. Phones, wallets, watches etc. Most people had their laptops and DSLR’s with them like I had mine in my hand. When I sat down, a zillion thoughts came to my mind while I prayed Ayat-ul-kursi. I started going numb, arms raised and my heart pounding as if it were about to burst.
I dont know how my reflexes worked, with my hands trembling I covered my DSLR with a few magazines that were placed on a low table right in front of me, put my hand in my kurta pocket and switched my phone off. We were told to look to the floor and NOT look up and if any of us played smart, they’d kill us. There was silence and a thumping heart beat and my own lips whispering Ayat-ul-kursi. While I had my eyes to the floor, I saw a laptop right in front of me. I picked a few more magazines and covered the laptop too, a zillion thoughts rushing through the brain. I look up, I see Anam to my left. We share a glance and a feeling of helplessness. Right ahead I see R, he was trembling and reciting too. I look at Anam again and I whisper, ‘S and A are outside’. I kept praying that they dont come in since the looters were all set to leave, after collecting everybody’s valuables. I look towards the door and I see them walking in. S looked at me and figured what was happening, and there! Their phone and wallets gone too.
7 minutes seemed like 80 years. The guy held his gun up and asked all of us to lie down, heads down and said, if anyone of us tried to move before they left they’ll shoot us. The moment froze. I heard the door close and their was chaos. Everyone got up, helping others around, hugging each other, Thanking Allah Mian that all of us were left unharmed, after all we were all in an enclosed space. Anything could have happened, like anything!!! We ALL sure must have done at least some good in life that Allah Mian saved us *Shukar Alhamdolillah* I looked for my bag which was placed at the bookshelf behind my stall. I found it on the floor, empty. My wallet was gone with cash and bank cards etc. Most of all, we all were alive. The next thing was to leave the venue and get home straight since there was no cash with anyone to even have food.
My hearts still thumping, it was a traumatic experience. What killed me and everyone else was the feeling of being helpless. The guys were armed. Nothing is larger than life itself. Alhamdolillah, I saved my camera and phone but lost the feeling of freedom that was left in me. I’m recovering fast from the shock, because of the the other 29 people who were held hostage with me. We share a bond that none other would understand. May Allah Mian protect us all and that these muggers payback a price unimaginable. Ameen.
Thanks to Sabeen Mahmud, Rabeea Arif and Mariam Bilgrami for all their support during the 2 day event and afterwards. Love to T2f!
Previous post, I mentioned a bag, saving money for a laptop and a wish to buy a laptop. So yes. money saved. Laptop here, still juggling between the desktop AND the laptop and still not being able to let go off the desktop. First love u see
Its a good change, i’m liking it, havent tried working on photoshop yet, dont know how patient i’ll be able to be with that!! Nonethless, Allah mian meherbaan! Summer break and a new laptop. Good combo I say!
*takes a bow*
If you know me well, you’d know that I’m a hopeless Optimist. I use the term hopeless because my faith doesnt die. I’m hopeless like that! New way to look at the term hopeless … nai? I’m the one who sees good in things that are bad for most. I see ‘Behtari’. I’m optimistic about life in all. I use the term…’koi baat nai’ all the time. Most people aren’t too convinced with it. I don’t use the word [hate] but rather ‘dislike’. You just can’t hate anything/anyone. Dislike is more like it
Mr Wiki says optimism is “Hopefulness and confidence about the future or successful outcome of something; a tendency to take a favorable or hopeful view”.
I found this image online and I could relate to it SO well because I actually did something similar. I bought a backpack [laptop bag] in anticipation. Yes, I am saving up for a laptop. So the bag came in first and because of the bag only… the laptop will come soon! Inshallah!
Last year was my year of savings for a DSLR. I had been saving for over 2 years, but I had a goal, a vision towards the DSLR. My target was a camera that I used at workplace… but as soon as i had enough money for it… Canon had come up with 3 new cameras. There was a moment of ‘steadddddyyyyyyy’. I waited a couple of months more and saved up for the best DSLR available in my budget and bought it!
The same way… will get me a laptop sooner than soon. My optimism has brought me where I am today. I do get a little a demotivated at times… after all I be human. But I have precious people who bring me back!
‘Faith in God, includes faith in His timing’ – Neal A.Maxwell
So yess…Faith high, up in the sky[where the birds fly and the beautiful chaand mian resides with sparkly stars].
For whatever is bestt and behtar! Patience prevails and my question remains. Allah mian? *giggles*
Anyone who knows me well, would know that i am inspired by nature… the sky. the clouds. the stars. the sun. THE chand mian
Being blessed with the most beautiful rooftop one can have in the city of chaos… is a Charm. I can spend an entire night sitting outside my apartment and enjoy the thandii hawaainat the rooftop. open skies. cars passing by. birds flying by. sparkling stars. charming Chand mian. the fresh air that gives you goosebumps. the traffic signal lights that always intrigue me. racing bikers. struggling rickshaws. Sigh.
Sometimes i capture the most beautiful scenery where i see rumbling skies, strokes from nature that only Allah Mian can create. My faith high… i sit there.. sometimes clicking pictures of what i see.. at other times i find myself mesmerized by what i see that i forget to click.
The rooftop is an inspiration for me, i’ve spent countless owl nights swinging by the jhoola. When kesc decides to take away the luxury, i run to the rooftop Check more work inspired by the rooftop here.
The mental alarm rang before the phone alarm. I was up before time. A little sleepy, a lot tired.. That’s how I felt but there were good vibes about today. Happy vibes – a little weird since it was a Monday. Usually Mondays are hectic and tiring and boring and loaded with work.
So I started the day with a session with Naaan. I walk up the stairs missing all the good times I’ve had on campus as a student and how carefree student life is… brain waves…10 mins later sidra walks up the stairs and she hands me flowers. “Miss these are for you”. Heart-melt moment. That was a sweet gesture and considering the fact that I LOVE flowers. She clearly made my day at 9:15am. Good happy vibes UHU-ed for the day babehh!! I made a vase for the flowers and they sat on my table in front of my eyes the whole day *blissful* they were a pink and 2 white flowers. I’m no pink fan but yes I loved that pink flower (boo: NO I be NO Barbie)
I ran around happy, working. A lil while later Mariam comes in with kitkats. I mean what IS happening today. Ohkay so mariam and I had a deal and she owed me kitkats. Yes I like kitkats so today was the fortunate day when I got kitkats too. Sweet of her, she packed them nicely, doodled on a card and attached it with it. That made my day too. 10:30am Check!!
I had confirmed A that I’ll buy the tripod she was selling. I had plans of picking it over the weekend but she had a busy Sunday. She called and said that she can drop by Indus to hand over the Tripod. Hell yea! I got the tripod too. Allah Mian, yeh kyaa hora hai. So many khushiyaan! Alhamdolillah.
On Red day me and a student talked about love-day being everyday and that even f she wanted to give me something she would do it any other day and NOT on Valentine’s Day. I loved her that instant. We thought on the same lines. So Zahra comes in with an envelope and that she wrote me a not-so-love-letter. Cutie! That was a funny letter. Love u Zahra <3
Got a Chance to have a chat with Choti after a looooong time. School bonding sessions are just different. Love u Choti. I come back to my cubicle and I see a ‘heart shaped’ bookmark stick from Khadija. I mean these girls just made my day complete.
Today was just different. It was an Awesome day.
Thankyou Allah Mian
I run from hate, I run from prejudice
I run from pessimists, but i run too late
I run my life or is it running me, run from my past
I run too fast or too slow it seems
When lies become the truth
Thats when i run to you
These words pierce through me
They make sense and then they dont
They make me happy and sad at the same time
The thinker in me wakes up
oooooohhh.. and the rooftop is where i run to
Thankyou Allah Mian for an amazing rooftop experience
*big satisfied smile*
…for all the goodness around me.. that i sometimes fail to see… understand….absorb.
Thankyou for all the blessings..friends.. family….people around me..
For all the duas that keep me rolling..the calls from nani…Ammi..Baba..
the skill.. the talent.. that keeps me going.. the faith that everything will turn out great..
I do tend to think otehrwise.. sometimes.. the tummy in the knot bothers me..
but for that u’ve given me friends who try and help me get away that feeling..
Thankyou for giving me Choti… Thankyou for giving me S..Ada..Mayg api.. Manoo…Mehruu..
Thankyou for every little thing.. like the teeniest weeniest thing that u’ve blessed me with.
Allah mian.. Aap buhat AALA hain!
Let the faith remain! let the goodness flow!
Let it all come my way..ALL whats the best for me..
Allah Mian.. So?? You know what i’d askk…
Whats the plan? Hain hain
Colder feet, coldest fingers
Hours of Fun, Time ran fast
Mahnoors 5th birthday and her shrieking voice.
Excitement to its highest level! *duas*
Random phone calls
Random-est photography session
Smiles. Laughter. Chefs special Pizza
Allah Mian IS listening <3 Awesome! *u know who u are*
Skittles and sparkles
Hugs and love and prayers
The stars shine brighter than any other day
The positive energy wraps me around itself
Tickle cells active more than ever
Allah mian! Whats the plan