Of keeping calm and giving comforting hugs
Faith in God, includes faith in His timing’ – Neal A.Maxwell
Being a teacher has been a great experience so far. Every day I tend to learn something new. Be it regarding a student, myself, design, color or just life in general. Just 5 days back me and Sabiha (another faculty member, friend and sister) took the 3rd year students for a study visit to Abbottabad to study crafts for a project. We were a group of 31 individuals- all girls- 2 teachers and 29 students. They say girls are always a bunch of FUN! True that. There was music, singing, work, sketches, clicking, arguments, laughter, dance, food, walks in the rain, prayers, bathroom lines and emergency loo breaks. We took the Bhoja air flight till Islamabad.
2 days later we hear of a Bhoja Air plane crash. Hell ran over us. There was chaos. Alhamdolillah we all were safe but fellow humans had passed away. 127 of them. It wasnt easy to take it in knowing that we DID come from Bhoja Air and were booked for the same to return back to khi. The girls were traumatized, they cried. Ran over to me for a hug. I HAD to keep calm and give them the faith that it’ll be alright. Inshallah we will be able to reach home safe. Switched flights to PIA. Chucked down a day from the trip since we got a flight a day before. There was a delay in flight, waited patiently, tired to the core, to reach home, see the family and hit bed.
All kinds of thoughts occurred in my head… overflowing negativity, weird feeling of being away from home. Anything could have happened, CAN happen. But travelling alone and being responsible for a large group of students are two different things. Keeping calm and giving comforting hugs was what I did. Alhamdolillah the students felt secure. They smiled, they laughed. They felt better 
All those wonderful people who made it to Allah mian had goals to achieve, lives to live. All gone in a jiffy. Say a lil prayer for them and their families. *amen*
Faith in Allah mian and calls from friends and family is what kept me going… yes I did feel a knot in the throat but im only human to feel that way. Experiences like these teach me SO much. About people, about life, about handling things, about keeping calm, giving faith and smiling
Allah mian, Thankyou for being SO meherbaan on all of us. You sure are the one Who writes the Master Plan.
*Allah Shukar*
Of Faith and other stories :)
So lately I’ve been reading Tuesdays with Morrie (again). Cant get enough of that book. How life is for most of us, how we deal with it, how we should deal with it, looking back at it later how we should have dealt with it. Life had a different meaning till a few years back. Things changed, people changed, I changed, times changed.. circumstances keep changing. Sometimes a downer, most of the times a wow-er Life is the biggest of tests we’re going through. Rough patches make us tougher and stronger than we were before. We start looking at things differently. We think maturely, we become mature… and I say that is for the better. There are some who give up, most of them fight it… like I do.
Nobody said this life would be easy. Everyday is a challenge; be it work, family, projects, clients, siblings, friends, close friends or your own faith. Theres so much happening around us everyday that the day runs by. I stop and think.. WHERE are we going? WHAT is happening? WHY is this happening? So yes I am as inquisitive as child who wants to know all the W’s of it all! Sometimes i have answers in front of me and at other times I look for them.
Talking to a friend about faith last night, he said everybody needs to go through it on their own to believe in how things work. One cant impose it on them. I thought to myself, when I talk about faith in whatever happens, happens for a reason and that it is what Allah Mian wrote for us.. Am I imposing it on people? or am I just sharing it with them and giving them hope that yes it WILL become better (that was just me thinking out aloud).
Later he shared these lyrics and I couldnt stop smiling…
Slipping away, I think I’m gonna crack
Misplaced trust, loyalty stabbed in the gut
I feel, I’m seeing so clear
I thought I was never coming back
I’ve been down for awhile,
And now I’m coming back…
_Anathema
Realizations hit hard! I think i have a bump on my head because of it.
Art Lootmar II – T2f
Art Lootmar II, happened on the 18th and 19th of June 2011. It was an event I was looking forward to. Had always been part of T2f(The second floor) virtually so was excited to be part of this exhibit amongst 12 other young artists. I was participating with my work from Ghazal Pirzada Creeative Studios. There was Anam Haleem(a friend and brother), Friends from Kaghaz kay karnamay, Mahin and the Ayesha’s from the Indus clan and a few others part of the troop. The first day went by great! With friends, family, colleagues and other artists from the community visiting, the highlight was Haider Ali’s live demo on his Truck Art paintings. The evening went by fast and I left for home happy and very satisfied with my participation at the Art Lootmar II at T2f.
The second day which was a Sunday, the show was open from 12pm onwards. We(me, S and Anam) decided to go in the evening. We reached around 6 and were to leave around 9 after pack up. It was the last day for the exhibit. We sat and chatted. T2f has a very comfortable and casual setting to it. We sat on the floor,resting on the bricked pillars, clicking pictures. I got a message from R(another brother) that if we were at T2f and that he was dropping by. It was around 8 when he and 2 friends walked in. After greeting them, they saw my work… Anams work and were now on a round to check other artists work while S and A went out for a smoke break saying.. we’ll be back in a bit.
With all the good, came in the bad.
I clicked a picture of R and Y, while they checked out Uth Oye! shirts and asked which one was better. The next thing I hear is this armed guy telling me ‘aap camera wali madam, neechay hojain’. My first thought, who the hell are YOU!? then I was pulled away by someone and I heard someone saying ‘these are thieves, sit down’ :!
There were around 30 or so people at T2f that instance including artists and the staff at T2f. We were all asked to sit down in a corner. Apparently there were 4 men and out of which 2 were armed. Where I sat, the pillar was right in front of me so all I saw was 1 guy pointing his gun on us on and off asking for everything we had. Phones, wallets, watches etc. Most people had their laptops and DSLR’s with them like I had mine in my hand. When I sat down, a zillion thoughts came to my mind while I prayed Ayat-ul-kursi. I started going numb, arms raised and my heart pounding as if it were about to burst.
I dont know how my reflexes worked, with my hands trembling I covered my DSLR with a few magazines that were placed on a low table right in front of me, put my hand in my kurta pocket and switched my phone off. We were told to look to the floor and NOT look up and if any of us played smart, they’d kill us. There was silence and a thumping heart beat and my own lips whispering Ayat-ul-kursi. While I had my eyes to the floor, I saw a laptop right in front of me. I picked a few more magazines and covered the laptop too, a zillion thoughts rushing through the brain. I look up, I see Anam to my left. We share a glance and a feeling of helplessness. Right ahead I see R, he was trembling and reciting too. I look at Anam again and I whisper, ‘S and A are outside’. I kept praying that they dont come in since the looters were all set to leave, after collecting everybody’s valuables. I look towards the door and I see them walking in. S looked at me and figured what was happening, and there! Their phone and wallets gone too.
7 minutes seemed like 80 years. The guy held his gun up and asked all of us to lie down, heads down and said, if anyone of us tried to move before they left they’ll shoot us. The moment froze. I heard the door close and their was chaos. Everyone got up, helping others around, hugging each other, Thanking Allah Mian that all of us were left unharmed, after all we were all in an enclosed space. Anything could have happened, like anything!!! We ALL sure must have done at least some good in life that Allah Mian saved us *Shukar Alhamdolillah* I looked for my bag which was placed at the bookshelf behind my stall. I found it on the floor, empty. My wallet was gone with cash and bank cards etc. Most of all, we all were alive. The next thing was to leave the venue and get home straight since there was no cash with anyone to even have food.
My hearts still thumping, it was a traumatic experience. What killed me and everyone else was the feeling of being helpless. The guys were armed. Nothing is larger than life itself. Alhamdolillah, I saved my camera and phone but lost the feeling of freedom that was left in me. I’m recovering fast from the shock, because of the the other 29 people who were held hostage with me. We share a bond that none other would understand. May Allah Mian protect us all and that these muggers payback a price unimaginable. Ameen.
Thanks to Sabeen Mahmud, Rabeea Arif and Mariam Bilgrami for all their support during the 2 day event and afterwards. Love to T2f!
Indulgence
Just last night i indulged myself in some ME time. I’d say though i have some time off from school aka a winter break i havent really given time to myself, my thoughts… in other words the much required ‘me time’. So i stepped outside.. the cold winds.. the traffic.. the darkness..My Chand mian… the stars.. everything was the same..the rooftop seemed lonely.. I hadnt really spent time there. I climbed the real rooftop(yes i am very daring that way) sat there for an hour or so..hummed a few songs..chilled.
I kept thinking..whts this life all about? Why am i working so hard.. that i’m not being able to give time to myself. Not that i’m complaining but just thinking aloud. Later i sat on the jhoola.. swinging.. back and forth.. back and forth..I clicked a few pictures. Enjoyed holding my OWN camera. Its a feeling only I know…the sense of achievement Alhamdolillah!
Thanking Allah Mian at every step of life. Creating new stuff..Life’s good.
Looking forward to the new year.. new beginnings.. new goals.. new deadlines.
but but.. Allah Mian.. Whats the plan? 
Socks and Winters <3
I love winters! Although i am one person who feels terribly cold even when no one feels it.
I’d wear socks and a sweater and still my fingers and toes would be dangerously cold!
Heres to Winters and My love for sockies. specially.. wiggly toes! 
ps: wiggly toe socks make me Happy! Really happy =)
The glow
The sun..the glow
a sneak preview that made me happy
leaving the positive energy…
the energy that remains..and here i am..
yet again..
spreading happy vibes and sharing kitkats.
Allah Mian shukr.
Allah Mian, Whats the plan?
Allah Mian is always good to us, someway or the other. He has a plan for everyone and it IS a good plan. Well yea, most of the times I am convinced. There are some parts of your life that you thoroughly enjoy, while some suck the fun out of it; some very tough and some sail by smooth. Some parts make you strong, stronger than before while some come back and worry you. Some parts of your life are like candies, they taste well and then they vanish. Some parts you never imagine them to be like the way they are while some make you the person you are.
There have been several parts of my life that made me the person that I am. I became stronger than before, more confident, independent and devoted. I became happier as a person. My faith went high. I became more n more patient. I thanked Allah mian for every little thing He gave me. Loving parents, two precious brothers, a sister-like bhabi, 2 beautiful nieces, an awesome bunch of friends, S, Choti – a sister I always wished for, a satisfying job, a running business and lots more.
There are times when I want things to happen there n then. I become impatient. I want to know whats ahead of me, but then knowing whats ahead of me will kill the fun. While there are times I become all strong only because that would be the best option and later things come back rolling pulling me back in the den.
Yesterday was just great. Other than me being tired and running around all day, what made me happy was to meet old friends, having the precious one around to help and just be there. Choti’s firefly becoming a hit (Alhamdolillah), scrutinizing a camera which will become our property soon Inshallah. Dinner with the crazy clan and chai back home.
Things are good.
But but Allah Mian, I have a question.
Whats the plan??
Realization-19092010
Sometimes..you just need reassurance of someones happiness and it makes you happy from the inside. You just need to have a look at it yourself and everything falls in place. The knot in the tummy goes away. The feeling of being blessed occurs. You understand why a certain thing was not meant to be. You wish and pray that Allah Mian keeps everyone happy and continues to being Meherbaan on you and life goess on…
*smiles*
Differently Alike.
April 26th 2010 – That was when i wanted to write this post. I titled it differently alike and suddenly the words disappeared and this wordless post sat in the drafts folder counting on its luck to be published out here soon. Today, August 4th 2010 - I felt strongly about writing this post. I get to the folder, open the post to edit …. and here i am again at a loss of words.
I guess the term ‘Differently Alike’ has SO much to it, that i’m jumbled in the head as to where to start, what to write. First this term came into existence after a few happily crazy moments and it directed towards a very special movie called Definitely Maybe, then at various occasions the term was applied and at times SO strongly applied that it made me wonder, What IS happening!!
Time to say, am blessed and i have no words to describe this part of my life. Allah Mian has given everyone of us such blessings and good times to cherish… we just need to look around and hold them together for life.
Ps: i never thought i’d be out of words and this term which describes us So well would leave me speechless.
Cheers to being differently alike!!
The story of..
…the painful contact lenses.
I wore contacts for a good 4 years or so, most people didnt know i owned a pair of specs which came out only at night when the contacts were allowed to rest in their case and be ready for yet another day of no sleep and strain on my beautiful eyes. After i got to Indus, the winds were filled with dust particles that bothered me throughout the day causing irritation and redness. I used to doze off while wearing them and be woken up with a pair of RED eyes and contacts stuck to the pupil. And oh boy, THAT was painful. My eyes would get dry and the contacts need mositure but to no avail.. Eventually i stopped wearing contacts and invested in a pair of cool specs. I actually enjoyed wearing specs, changed them bi-annually. This one time i bought a pair of purple specs(very unlike me).
This summer i thought i’d be a good idea if i could get back to wearing contacts just for the sake of it. And so i got myself a new pair of contacts. I wore them everyday and by night my eyes would feel tired, clearly showed am not used to them anymore. Last night after watching the fifa final i couldnt sleep. After fajr i got to bed and slept not realizing that the contacts needed to rest in their case and NOT in my eyes *Sigh* Ab toh hogya! Woke up 730 and theres a blur, i couldnt see a thing. I ran towards the mirror and saw my eyes all red and they hurt bad. Took me 20 mins to get those tiny little pieces of plastic off my eyes. Phew!
Am happier with my specs. They are part of my identity. I look different and rather prettier without the specs sitting on my nose and hiding my eyes but they’re comfortable and trendy AND i can sleep without worrying about my eyes hurting when i wake up. So there we go.. Specs WIN over contacts! Finally!
Ps: My specs make me PHUPO for mahnoor. When Ada and family shifted to dubai, Mayg api told me how in the mall, Mahnoor ran to this girl who was wearing gaLses and WAS phupo! Cutie!
Realization-18062010
No use being so nice to everybody on the face of this planet.
People who do not respect you, do not i repeat DO NOT deserve the respect in return.
*takes a bow*
*runs.hides in secret place*
GP can(t) dance saala ;)
Well, dancing is something everyone can do. Its just a matter of doing it in front of people or when no ones watching. I can dance when no ones watching and just a few days back I realized I AM actually shy when it comes to dancing with someone. I’ve danced or rather done a simple luddi with a bunch of friends but a one on one…. I AM SHY.
*skittle red cheeks*
I’ve been on a high for the past 2 days. With no internet at home for 20 days or so.. the workplace with OVER loads of work… am a little sleep-deprived and HIGH! Funny mode ON! Been bugging friends and colleagues at workplace. Lifes good
*TwwwirrrRrrrrlll*
from right to wrong.
There are So many things i dont agree to while the others do…
Am i right or are they right?
Who’s right? who’s wrong?
Is it my way of dealing with things that allows me to say that a certain thing is right or wrong? or… is it my upbringing that backs my way of looking at things differently from others.
Laikin matlab kyaaaaa.aaaaaaa???
A very happy 24th :)
The clock struck 11:45 pm and my most fantabulous birthday started with Buddy M’s call. This year round i didnt pre-plan my day. I just wanted to play along and enjoy every moment spontaneously and i cant thank enough Allah mian for giving me such a wonderful day with a zillion little big amazing memories to cherish for a life time. Alhamdolillah! Blessed i be
M’s shaadi week started. Amidst of her dholki madness i recieved birthday wishes via call and msgs and hugs. My friends around me singing ‘jungle mein mangal teray he dam say..kisnay yeh shor machayaa hai.. salgirah ka din aaya hai..’ what fun!!!
Birthday being on a week day has its own charm, though a birthday weekend is what one wishes for. The day started absolutely well, with special heart-warming prayers form all the loving elderlies at workplace. Hugs and love from the colleagues. A huge surprise from Ammi who teamed up with my students and got cake, flowers and balloons at school. Love her for being such a loving young-at-heart kinda mom. My final year students who were my first lot whom i taught, got a cake and flowers My current students, the 2nd years got a scrumptious chocolate cake and some more flowers too! Later i got to know that they had been planning for it since friday. Sweet kids.
Tim and Zaid came to wish me at workplace, we re-lived old thesis times. Its such a great feeling to be loved by SO many people altogether. Never felt the same before. The day went by busy with work and chaos. The most special 10 mins were spent with choti at the end of the day. Made a surprise visit to nani’s, she was happy beyond limits
Later at home, Bhai and Ayezu came for a surprise visit which i actually ruined (unintentionally). I reached home and saw Bhai waiting for Ayezu at the gate *cuties*. Cut the cake with them. The cake read ‘Happy Birthday Api’. Buddy M made a special appearance later at night! All in all, It was a great great birthday to treasure for life. 4 cakes on the 24th A special celebration with C and S followed the next day!
Got a call from Mahnoor, cutie. Waiting for the card she made for me.
They say that its hard to find people who love you, care for you. I musst say am truly blessed to have SO many people loving me. Alhamdolillah! Thanks to everyone who made my 24th very special!!
Special thanx to Ammi, Baba, Ada, Mayg api, Mahnoor, Saad, Mate, Shammy, Choti, The Twins, buddy m, Hero, Bhaiyyu, Buddy M, Ayezu, Eefa and everyone who called and made my day! Love.
01.03.2010
Color of the day: Orange!
Blessed!
Its amazing how just an hour and a half of a gappay session with a friend can truly make up for a crappy day. Phew! I haven’t laughed so much in ages. *you’re Precious*
After waiting for more than 3 weeks or so got to watch 3 idiots on big screen, we finally made it today. It was worth the wait i’d say. AMAZING movie. One movie that actually made me cry and Laugh at the same time. And we walked out all happy and satisfied that the wait had ended. Thanx Zainu, bought back great memories to treasure for life
A Tuesday well Spent! =)
Happy 2010!
So yea..Its flashback time, a little*just a little* late but yea… for the record.
The Year 2009, the year when life changed for the better, bigger experiences came in, a lot of laughter and happiness revailed, new members in the family were inducted, new friends were made for life, bonding sessions that meant the most and will last forever =)
Looking back, it all started great Alhamdolillah. I was soooo looking forward to 2009 with faith high, up in the sky. Saad started FY at Indus and with it my 2nd year at work started, Abida Parveen- Live in concert, largest event at Indus organized, 23rd birthday, first International trip as faculty to ‘Thailand’ with my best friends as students, early april Dadi passed away, Basant happened at school and later came an opportunity to manage a band, joined [NO IDEA] as manager for 6 months, New friends came into being; Boo, AD and Amy, Choti’s birthday happened which was magical for her =)
Pakistan sign language(PSL) certification, lots of cake treats and bonding sessions, Sidrah got married, doodling came into existence for me, roof-topping, chocolates, more photography, one on one with Allah Mian, admiring the sunsets more, starry nights and casanova Mr Chand Mian, voice of the dying horse… trips back home, gullak money, birthdays made special, hero-Buddy M-Best friend, my junior lot-best friends-hero and buddy M gang graduated, -‘Dost’- happened, I became Phupo once again to a beautiful niece ‘Mehr Fatima’, also became Khala to my handsome nephew ‘Raaif’, Bibi passed away(no more dua wali candies) but lots of prayers remained, Maria got nikahofied, heart to heart sessions, photography competitions, barbies, Alumni show, found my ‘Real Unbiological Sister’ this year, prayed more, hopes were high, faith was higher, ended with a full moon and a happy person photo shoot with chotaaay.
All in all, a fantastic-happening-happy-year, Welcoming the new year with open arms with prayers and faith n patience to cope up with all the tough times life has to offer and cherish all the good times for years to come. Inshallah. Ameen.
Happy 2010 folks!
=)
Resolution 2010:
-be a better person
-get DSLR =)
16.12.2009
Today the sun settled happy and bright with neon streaks of orange across the sky. At first it gave me a high, I was happy, very happy, and I believed I could fly. Later a cloud of blues took over me; I let myself into the quietness of my surroundings which led me getting into the ‘silent-ninja-mode’ as me and a dear friend state it to be.
The electricity went out and so did I; I meant I stepped out to take a walk. For the first time, my rooftop gave me shivers, it was dark, the bridge had a few cars rush by, I felt alone, I felt left out, and I felt as if no one cared. It was quiet and cold.
I sat there staring at the corner where I’ve had the best rooftops sessions, where I’ve cried, where I’ve bonded with Allah Mian under the sky staring at the stars, where I’ve witnessed birds fly their way home and felt beautiful, where I’ve laughed, where me and Choti have discussed life and had sisterly conversations, where me and S have had countless sessions over ‘anything’ that has come our way, where me and friends have gossiped, where Ammi and I have had mother-daughter talks, where I’ve clicked at 2am just because I couldn’t sleep, where I’ve spent a lot of my time pondering over life.
I felt empty.
I realized life moves on, things aren’t meant to remain the same forever. I guess it would get boring and monotonous if it was to remain the same. I realized I treasured ALL of the above. My thoughts reflected over how important these people are in my life, how important the ‘rooftop sessions’ are to me.
I felt a little better but the quietness prevailed….
*Thankful- Big time!*
Just one thing rather just one moment will make you realize how blessed you are. (jitna shukr karien kam hai) Alhamdolillah… Something similar happened today…
In the Foundation year at IVS, the students are taught basic design. This very interesting assignment that the students are asked to do is the music assignment. The instructor puts on music and the students are asked to put down music on paper and eventually a sculpture is made out of it.
Music is food for the soul, we all love music. Everybody has favorites and a specific genre that they would prefer. I dropped by the studio to see their work and I come across a deaf student and I see his work. It was just amazing how he put down music in form of a sculpture even though he can’t even hear. Blessed! Aren’t we?
=)
*I Admit…*
I admit…
I admit…I am patient, very patient
I admit I need to learn a few (more) things in life and I am learning, its just that its taking a little while…
I admit I love my friends, my people and would do anything for them…
I do things without thinking of what it will give me in return… be it doing things for people around me… or otherwise..
I admit I don’t do things for a reason; there is no reason for me to be there for someone…just that I’d want to be there for them…
I admit I will never confess if I have feelings for someone…I’d be scared to loose the friend in them
I’d wait for things to happen my way with whatever is best for me that has already been written
I admit I don’t like to fight; hence there are no regrets…
I just wish that no one has any regrets in life… simply because they hurt…
I admit YET AGAIN that I love stars and the moon… they make me happy… really happy…the rooftop is a blessing
I also admit that relationships mean A LOT to me sooo getting married would be a beautiful thing to happen
I admit, my faith is high, up in the sky
I strongly believe in whatever happens happens for a reason; be it good or bad…there is always a reason…
I admit I have a new chingum song I relate to so well… it is called ‘ooncha’ by noori
I admit life seems good at the moment, wish for it to be better tomorrow…
I admit moving on is the most difficult thing to do, but once you do you will definitely feel a huge burden off you, life will be clearer, you’ll see behtari in whatever happened.
I admit I think too much, but that’s the kind of freedom I have, the freedom to think…
I admit i cant sit idle to save my life…
I doodle…
I admit I have a list of things I want and I have a feeling I will get ‘em when the time is right…Inshallah!
=)
*funneh! Realization-31102009*
Daylight saving ends, we get an hour extra.
People say time is money… but shammy says…
“Life’s a lemon, and you don’t get your money back”
But we just got an hour back…
Laikin magar kyaaaaa.aaaa.a.aaa
bhahaha…=D
*Realization-30102009*
I asked what that thing is that flies in the sky and leaves a fluffy trail behind…
a jet? a rocket?
I got the answer, Its a ‘small jet’
I love the ‘small jet’, the trail thats left behind…it gives me a feeling of a connection…unknown… Its just so beautiful…the jet runs ahead while the trail remains behind… yet connected…yet soo beautiful…
Sigh..Lifes like THAT!!!
*Realization-29102009*
People walk in your life for a reason, reason known or unknown… makes you happy… reallly happy.. poinnnnkily happy…
And then there are a few who walk in and leave, leave you devasted… and when you move on.. in a good way… they come back and haunt you… now thats unfair..
Allah mian… more people walking in rather walking out..
Please?
