Faith in God, includes faith in His timing’ – Neal A.Maxwell
Being a teacher has been a great experience so far. Every day I tend to learn something new. Be it regarding a student, myself, design, color or just life in general. Just 5 days back me and Sabiha (another faculty member, friend and sister) took the 3rd year students for a study visit to Abbottabad to study crafts for a project. We were a group of 31 individuals- all girls- 2 teachers and 29 students. They say girls are always a bunch of FUN! True that. There was music, singing, work, sketches, clicking, arguments, laughter, dance, food, walks in the rain, prayers, bathroom lines and emergency loo breaks. We took the Bhoja air flight till Islamabad.
2 days later we hear of a Bhoja Air plane crash. Hell ran over us. There was chaos. Alhamdolillah we all were safe but fellow humans had passed away. 127 of them. It wasnt easy to take it in knowing that we DID come from Bhoja Air and were booked for the same to return back to khi. The girls were traumatized, they cried. Ran over to me for a hug. I HAD to keep calm and give them the faith that it’ll be alright. Inshallah we will be able to reach home safe. Switched flights to PIA. Chucked down a day from the trip since we got a flight a day before. There was a delay in flight, waited patiently, tired to the core, to reach home, see the family and hit bed.
All kinds of thoughts occurred in my head… overflowing negativity, weird feeling of being away from home. Anything could have happened, CAN happen. But travelling alone and being responsible for a large group of students are two different things. Keeping calm and giving comforting hugs was what I did. Alhamdolillah the students felt secure. They smiled, they laughed. They felt better
All those wonderful people who made it to Allah mian had goals to achieve, lives to live. All gone in a jiffy. Say a lil prayer for them and their families. *amen*
Faith in Allah mian and calls from friends and family is what kept me going… yes I did feel a knot in the throat but im only human to feel that way. Experiences like these teach me SO much. About people, about life, about handling things, about keeping calm, giving faith and smiling
Allah mian, Thankyou for being SO meherbaan on all of us. You sure are the one Who writes the Master Plan.
So lately I’ve been reading Tuesdays with Morrie (again). Cant get enough of that book. How life is for most of us, how we deal with it, how we should deal with it, looking back at it later how we should have dealt with it. Life had a different meaning till a few years back. Things changed, people changed, I changed, times changed.. circumstances keep changing. Sometimes a downer, most of the times a wow-er Life is the biggest of tests we’re going through. Rough patches make us tougher and stronger than we were before. We start looking at things differently. We think maturely, we become mature… and I say that is for the better. There are some who give up, most of them fight it… like I do.
Nobody said this life would be easy. Everyday is a challenge; be it work, family, projects, clients, siblings, friends, close friends or your own faith. Theres so much happening around us everyday that the day runs by. I stop and think.. WHERE are we going? WHAT is happening? WHY is this happening? So yes I am as inquisitive as child who wants to know all the W’s of it all! Sometimes i have answers in front of me and at other times I look for them.
Talking to a friend about faith last night, he said everybody needs to go through it on their own to believe in how things work. One cant impose it on them. I thought to myself, when I talk about faith in whatever happens, happens for a reason and that it is what Allah Mian wrote for us.. Am I imposing it on people? or am I just sharing it with them and giving them hope that yes it WILL become better (that was just me thinking out aloud).
Later he shared these lyrics and I couldnt stop smiling…
Slipping away, I think I’m gonna crack
Misplaced trust, loyalty stabbed in the gut
I feel, I’m seeing so clear
I thought I was never coming back
I’ve been down for awhile,
And now I’m coming back…
Realizations hit hard! I think i have a bump on my head because of it.
Art Lootmar II, happened on the 18th and 19th of June 2011. It was an event I was looking forward to. Had always been part of T2f(The second floor) virtually so was excited to be part of this exhibit amongst 12 other young artists. I was participating with my work from Ghazal Pirzada Creeative Studios. There was Anam Haleem(a friend and brother), Friends from Kaghaz kay karnamay, Mahin and the Ayesha’s from the Indus clan and a few others part of the troop. The first day went by great! With friends, family, colleagues and other artists from the community visiting, the highlight was Haider Ali’s live demo on his Truck Art paintings. The evening went by fast and I left for home happy and very satisfied with my participation at the Art Lootmar II at T2f.
The second day which was a Sunday, the show was open from 12pm onwards. We(me, S and Anam) decided to go in the evening. We reached around 6 and were to leave around 9 after pack up. It was the last day for the exhibit. We sat and chatted. T2f has a very comfortable and casual setting to it. We sat on the floor,resting on the bricked pillars, clicking pictures. I got a message from R(another brother) that if we were at T2f and that he was dropping by. It was around 8 when he and 2 friends walked in. After greeting them, they saw my work… Anams work and were now on a round to check other artists work while S and A went out for a smoke break saying.. we’ll be back in a bit.
With all the good, came in the bad.
I clicked a picture of R and Y, while they checked out Uth Oye! shirts and asked which one was better. The next thing I hear is this armed guy telling me ‘aap camera wali madam, neechay hojain’. My first thought, who the hell are YOU!? then I was pulled away by someone and I heard someone saying ‘these are thieves, sit down’ :!
There were around 30 or so people at T2f that instance including artists and the staff at T2f. We were all asked to sit down in a corner. Apparently there were 4 men and out of which 2 were armed. Where I sat, the pillar was right in front of me so all I saw was 1 guy pointing his gun on us on and off asking for everything we had. Phones, wallets, watches etc. Most people had their laptops and DSLR’s with them like I had mine in my hand. When I sat down, a zillion thoughts came to my mind while I prayed Ayat-ul-kursi. I started going numb, arms raised and my heart pounding as if it were about to burst.
I dont know how my reflexes worked, with my hands trembling I covered my DSLR with a few magazines that were placed on a low table right in front of me, put my hand in my kurta pocket and switched my phone off. We were told to look to the floor and NOT look up and if any of us played smart, they’d kill us. There was silence and a thumping heart beat and my own lips whispering Ayat-ul-kursi. While I had my eyes to the floor, I saw a laptop right in front of me. I picked a few more magazines and covered the laptop too, a zillion thoughts rushing through the brain. I look up, I see Anam to my left. We share a glance and a feeling of helplessness. Right ahead I see R, he was trembling and reciting too. I look at Anam again and I whisper, ‘S and A are outside’. I kept praying that they dont come in since the looters were all set to leave, after collecting everybody’s valuables. I look towards the door and I see them walking in. S looked at me and figured what was happening, and there! Their phone and wallets gone too.
7 minutes seemed like 80 years. The guy held his gun up and asked all of us to lie down, heads down and said, if anyone of us tried to move before they left they’ll shoot us. The moment froze. I heard the door close and their was chaos. Everyone got up, helping others around, hugging each other, Thanking Allah Mian that all of us were left unharmed, after all we were all in an enclosed space. Anything could have happened, like anything!!! We ALL sure must have done at least some good in life that Allah Mian saved us *Shukar Alhamdolillah* I looked for my bag which was placed at the bookshelf behind my stall. I found it on the floor, empty. My wallet was gone with cash and bank cards etc. Most of all, we all were alive. The next thing was to leave the venue and get home straight since there was no cash with anyone to even have food.
My hearts still thumping, it was a traumatic experience. What killed me and everyone else was the feeling of being helpless. The guys were armed. Nothing is larger than life itself. Alhamdolillah, I saved my camera and phone but lost the feeling of freedom that was left in me. I’m recovering fast from the shock, because of the the other 29 people who were held hostage with me. We share a bond that none other would understand. May Allah Mian protect us all and that these muggers payback a price unimaginable. Ameen.
Thanks to Sabeen Mahmud, Rabeea Arif and Mariam Bilgrami for all their support during the 2 day event and afterwards. Love to T2f!
Anyone who knows me well, would know that i am inspired by nature… the sky. the clouds. the stars. the sun. THE chand mian
Being blessed with the most beautiful rooftop one can have in the city of chaos… is a Charm. I can spend an entire night sitting outside my apartment and enjoy the thandii hawaainat the rooftop. open skies. cars passing by. birds flying by. sparkling stars. charming Chand mian. the fresh air that gives you goosebumps. the traffic signal lights that always intrigue me. racing bikers. struggling rickshaws. Sigh.
Sometimes i capture the most beautiful scenery where i see rumbling skies, strokes from nature that only Allah Mian can create. My faith high… i sit there.. sometimes clicking pictures of what i see.. at other times i find myself mesmerized by what i see that i forget to click.
The rooftop is an inspiration for me, i’ve spent countless owl nights swinging by the jhoola. When kesc decides to take away the luxury, i run to the rooftop Check more work inspired by the rooftop here.
I enter the gates of my workplace. I see foundies holding red balloons. I love balloons but not red ones.. blue and black and white.. or happy yellow ones. We exchange smiles. They’re all unusually bright and happy. I walk ahead.. I look to my right.. I see red.. and I turn to my left.. more red. *shudders*
I was wearing a happy pink scarf, had no clue that everybody would associate the pink as a ‘red’ as well. So I walk up the stairs and a student joins me and says, “Happy valentine’s day!! Where is your red?” I answer “Heyy.. Well, pink is the new red!!” and we both laughed.
I couldn’t believe myself, did I just say.. “PINK is the new red”. Aaaaa.aaaaaaa *faints*
Well yes I did and that was my escape remark whenever someone asked where MY red was! Hahaaaa…
So there was ‘red day’ celebration at school. The students were all dressed up in various shades of reds, the boys had something red on as well. A belt qualifies too! It was fun to see them all excited. One guy said, “Miss u know what, We’re not celebrating Valentine’s day.. It’s just the color red. We’re celebrating the color RED”
Well whatever made them happy There were heart-shaped cookies and cupcakes and the likes. Upon looking down my office, I could see a trail of red ants. Well yeahh 4th floor, aerial view. Every person dressed in red looked like a red ant. And no I am not anti-love-ly. I just feel overdoing it… kinda kills it.
Love is everywhere, You can feel it every day, its there in every little moment of your life.
U just need to have that heart, eye and courage to get past it.
Happy love day ya’all!!!
Hope it was Lovely
I run from hate, I run from prejudice
I run from pessimists, but i run too late
I run my life or is it running me, run from my past
I run too fast or too slow it seems
When lies become the truth
Thats when i run to you
These words pierce through me
They make sense and then they dont
They make me happy and sad at the same time
The thinker in me wakes up
oooooohhh.. and the rooftop is where i run to
Thankyou Allah Mian for an amazing rooftop experience
*big satisfied smile*
This new years eve.. i didnt do anything “exciting” at all. I sat outside.. rooftopped a little while.. then was told by a dear friend that it wouldnt be safe to stay outside with flying bullets around.. so i came back in. I wasnt excited.. i had a rush of thoughts that came to my mind. Questions that needed answers. I thought to myself.. another year passed..did i achieve much? or for that matter did i achieve anything at all?
Well 2010 was very happening. With good and beautiful things came in the bad and ugly!
The year started off happy with a goal to save money. This had to be the year of savings. Work life got busy. SAARC mela.Thanking Allah mian. I admired things around me. Gave them attention. My 24th birthday was celebrated several times in the most special manner with my most special people. MJ and the flushed peace! India trip- a trip of a lifetime with the students. Delhi and Kolkatta! More travelling. Thar. Independent teaching and travelling. more responsibility. Got my own domain as a birthday present. 13AM. The rooftop became more special. Its become my escapade now. Some chinngum songs. Did a very special project for Photographics.The Summer break. Bonding. Endless chai and coffee sessions, popcorns. chairman mao. Half the year went by quick.
The 2nd half literally RAN as if it were in a race to get to the finish line…the finish line of 2010. Some friends got engaged.. some married.. some broke up. All these stories around me made me a stronger person. My faith high..Thankyou Allah mian. Someone elses happiness was bound to become my own… endless hugs. love. new friends…friends becoming close friends.. close friends becoming closer..sisterly bonds increasing. Saxaphone and the post midnight crackpottiness. My new phone. Nokia 6760. My goal- resolution for 2010 was to get myself a DSLR and i did. 2010 did turn out to be the year of savings. Alhamdolillah.
Ghazal Pirzada Creative Studios taking a new dimension for the world. Facebook page, exhibitions. Sparkles. Allah mians plan for me. My endless special prayers and continuous series of questions. good times. bad times. arguments and fights. Swallowing down anger.. trying to be a better person and succeeding as well. More people walking in and less people walking out =) Being best friends with mahnoor and enjoying mehru’s childhood. Photographing. PS and AI courses and scoring the highest! Well Yes.. lots of achievements. My first batch of students.. graduated with tears of joy! Random people praising my efforts and acknowledging me. The feeling of being blessed and praying for everyones behtari.
Its been a roller coaster ride..lots of memories to treasure for life… good and bad.
2011 came just too early. Allah mian make this year the best of years for me
and accept all those special prayers i make for them special people in my life.
Raah Pay Kante Bikhre agar, Uspay to phir bhi chalna he hai,
Shaam Chhupalay Suraj magar, Raat ko ek din Dhalna he hai,
Rut ye tal jayegi, Himmat rang layegi,
Subha phir aayegi
2011! u better be good.
Save more money. Bring the gullak to good use!
Be a better person.
Just last night i indulged myself in some ME time. I’d say though i have some time off from school aka a winter break i havent really given time to myself, my thoughts… in other words the much required ‘me time’. So i stepped outside.. the cold winds.. the traffic.. the darkness..My Chand mian… the stars.. everything was the same..the rooftop seemed lonely.. I hadnt really spent time there. I climbed the real rooftop(yes i am very daring that way) sat there for an hour or so..hummed a few songs..chilled.
I kept thinking..whts this life all about? Why am i working so hard.. that i’m not being able to give time to myself. Not that i’m complaining but just thinking aloud. Later i sat on the jhoola.. swinging.. back and forth.. back and forth..I clicked a few pictures. Enjoyed holding my OWN camera. Its a feeling only I know…the sense of achievement Alhamdolillah!
Thanking Allah Mian at every step of life. Creating new stuff..Life’s good.
Looking forward to the new year.. new beginnings.. new goals.. new deadlines.
but but.. Allah Mian.. Whats the plan?
Choti: Api, please smille. you’re abnormal when u dont.
Me: I’m smiling choti.
*A thought that comes in later, Am i really not smiling?*
I am going through one of those times in life where things make sense ,then they dont and then when they do, i let go. I let go of the thinking and falling for the dos and donts. My hunger disappears. I dont eat. But then i get back to normal and the thinking continues. I think, i observe, i question(mostly myself) and others too. I’m curious. I want to know things. And i know i will only know when the time comes. Hence i wait. My patience covers time. Time that flys. At times i want the time to go slow so that i truly cherish the good stuff in life and there… the times starts running. With a very precious friend, TIME is never enough and on the other hand this 4 hour meetup goes by slow where we talk about SO much. I wonder how life would be this time round next year, like i thought the same last year and i can very proudly say life is good. Am blessed! I’ve made new friends. I’ve done something good in life. I’ve made people happy. I’ve gone sad because of people. I’ve spent nights sleeping like a log(yes thats very unlike of me) and i’ve spent various owl nights. I’ve read books and i’ve pondered over life. There are things i want to do in life, but not everything works out the way i want it to be. nobody tells me that a certain thing wouldnt work out. But then after i’ve tried and tested and STILL it doesnt work, i’m bound to say it sure was worth a try(but thats just me).
Is trial and error the key to life? Now reallly!!!
ps: I miss not having a camera.
A few days ago, I read this status update on fb,
‘When is it okay to lie to your best friend?’
Firstly, lie is too harsh a word to be used between best friends. Why would u lie to your best friend? If there is need to lie in between you and your best friend then i feel the term best friend went all wrong. The term ‘Best friends’ sounds so high school type. I’d rather stick to my best friend being called a close friend. Since lie is too harsh a word for me, I’d question myself when is it okay to HIDE things from your close friend.
What will there be to hide? Is there anything to be hidden from close friends? How close is the friend anyway? If they know you’re hiding, you’re quiet and thinking, what would they think? How would i think if i know a certain close friend is hiding something or for that matter lieing to me? How about being honest and spilling things without any fear, but human nature brings in fears too. But then at times when u spill and be truthfully honest that doesnt ring a bell either. Then what? It could hurt them? They’d feel weirded out. The introvert in them would bother them, because they’d think abt it and not spill their feelings? It got complicated, no?
Close friends are like trees, the more they get together to bond, the roots get tighter. The trust comes in. They start spilling things that they might not talk to others about. Theres a special place in their lives for this certain close friend. The day is incomplete if they dont talk, the weeks incomplete if they dont meet and when they meet, the time is never enough. Its hard letting go. Deadlines are’nt met. Close friends talk about anything and everything that comes their way. Be it work life or personal life, lifes experiences or the jokes they make on people. Be it over eating or going on diet from a monday. Be it clothes, ideas, good things, bad things, going shopping, be it chai or no chai, be it happy beginnings or sad endings. Sometimes theres not much to talk abt yet they meetup and just sitting beside one another gives them comfort. From solving problems to creating problems. Close friends can tell one another how they feel, be it happy or sad or going through a freaky quiet owl mode or the feeling of being heavy-hearted. Close friends know one another inside out. They dislike moments when you plan to spend your entire day working and not giving yourself time to rest. Close friends care. They promise to stay put by one another no matter what happens, and they try their best to fulfill this. Close friends dont always joke around, they have serious talks, heart to heart bonding sessions which have an insight to them. They learn from each other. They are there for one another. The have secrets, they share things that either of them would never tell anyone else *Sigh*. You can rely on them. They’ll be there to cheer u up even when you say you’re okay. Close friends will pray for you first and then for them. They share some ‘specials’ which they wouldnt share with anyone else.
I’m blessed to have friends who are close.
Allah Mian, give them what makes them happy and content. Ameen.
P.s: its NEVER okay to lie to your best friend. Go figure!
What is more important, fame or integrity. What is more valuable, money or happiness. What is more dangerous, success or failure. If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never be fulfilled. If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy. Be content with what you have and take joy in the way things are. When you realize you have it all, the world belongs to you.
If you want to shrink something, you must first expand it. If you want to get rid of something, you must first allow it to flourish. If you want to take something, you must allow it to be given. The soft will overcome the hard. The slow will beat the fast. Don’t tell people the way, just show them the results.
Knowing other people is intelligence, knowing yourself is wisdom. Mastering other people is strength, mastering yourself is power. If you realize what you have is enough, you’l feel rich. Stay in the centre and embrace peace, simplicity, patience and compassion. Embrace the possibility of death and you shall endure. Embrace the possibility of life and you shall endure.
*comfortably sits in the think tank and sips on a glass of hot chocolate*