*Realization*

Of keeping calm and giving comforting hugs

Faith in God, includes faith in His timing’ – Neal A.Maxwell

Being a teacher has been a great experience so far. Every day I tend to learn something new. Be it regarding a student, myself, design, color or just life in general. Just 5 days back me and Sabiha (another faculty member, friend and sister) took the 3rd year students for a study visit to Abbottabad to study crafts for a project. We were a group of 31 individuals- all girls- 2 teachers and 29 students. They say girls are always a bunch of FUN! True that. There was music, singing, work, sketches, clicking, arguments, laughter, dance, food, walks in the rain, prayers, bathroom lines and emergency loo breaks. We took the Bhoja air flight till Islamabad.

2 days later we hear of a Bhoja Air plane crash. Hell ran over us. There was chaos. Alhamdolillah we all were safe but fellow humans had passed away. 127 of them. It wasnt easy to take it in knowing that we DID come from Bhoja Air and were booked for the same to return back to khi. The girls were traumatized, they cried. Ran over to me for a hug. I HAD to keep calm and give them the faith that it’ll be alright. Inshallah we will be able to reach home safe. Switched flights to PIA. Chucked down a day from the trip since we got a flight a day before. There was a delay in flight, waited patiently, tired to the core, to reach home, see the family and hit bed.

All kinds of thoughts occurred in my head… overflowing negativity, weird feeling of being away from home. Anything could have happened, CAN happen. But travelling alone and being responsible for a large group of students are two different things. Keeping calm and giving comforting hugs was what I did. Alhamdolillah the students felt secure. They smiled, they laughed. They felt better 🙂

All those wonderful people who made it to Allah mian had goals to achieve, lives to live. All gone in a jiffy. Say a lil prayer for them and their families. *amen*

Faith in Allah mian and calls from friends and family is what kept me going… yes I did feel a knot in the throat but im only human to feel that way. Experiences like these teach me SO much. About people, about life, about handling things, about keeping calm, giving faith and smiling 🙂

Allah mian, Thankyou for being SO meherbaan on all of us. You sure are the one Who writes the Master Plan.

*Allah Shukar*

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Of Faith and other stories :)

So lately I’ve been reading Tuesdays with Morrie (again). Cant get enough of that book. How life is for most of us, how we deal with it, how we should deal with it, looking back at it later how we should have dealt with it. Life had a different meaning till a few years back. Things changed, people changed, I changed, times changed.. circumstances keep changing. Sometimes a downer, most of the times a wow-er 🙂 Life is the biggest of tests we’re going through. Rough patches make us tougher and stronger than we were before. We start looking at things differently. We think maturely, we become mature… and I say that is for the better. There are some who give up, most of them fight it… like I do.

Nobody said this life would be easy. Everyday is a challenge; be it work, family, projects, clients, siblings, friends, close friends or your own faith. Theres so much happening around us everyday that the day runs by. I stop and think.. WHERE are we going? WHAT is happening? WHY is this happening? So yes I am as inquisitive as child who wants to know all the W’s of it all! Sometimes i have answers in front of me and at other times I look for them.

Talking to a friend about faith last night, he said everybody needs to go through it on their own to believe in how things work. One cant impose it on them. I thought to myself, when I talk about faith in whatever happens, happens for a reason and that it is what Allah Mian wrote for us.. Am I imposing it on people? or am I just sharing it with them and giving them hope that yes it WILL become better (that was just me thinking out aloud).

Later he shared these lyrics and I couldnt stop smiling…

Slipping away, I think I’m gonna crack
Misplaced trust, loyalty stabbed in the gut
I feel, I’m seeing so clear
I thought I was never coming back
I’ve been down for awhile,
And now I’m coming back…
_Anathema

Realizations hit hard! I think i have a bump on my head because of it.


Art Lootmar II – T2f

Art Lootmar II, happened on the 18th and 19th of June 2011. It was an event I was looking forward to. Had always been part of T2f(The second floor) virtually so was excited to be part of this exhibit amongst 12 other young artists. I was participating with my work from Ghazal Pirzada Creeative Studios. There was Anam Haleem(a friend and brother), Friends from Kaghaz kay karnamay, Mahin and the Ayesha’s from the Indus clan and a few others part of the troop. The first day went by great! With friends, family, colleagues and other artists from the community visiting, the highlight was Haider Ali’s live demo on his Truck Art paintings. The evening went by fast and I left for home happy and very satisfied with my participation at the Art Lootmar II at T2f.

The second day which was a Sunday, the show was open from 12pm onwards. We(me, S and Anam) decided to go in the evening. We reached around 6 and were to leave around 9 after pack up. It was the last day for the exhibit. We sat and chatted. T2f has a very comfortable and casual setting to it. We sat on the floor,resting on the bricked pillars, clicking pictures. I got a message from R(another brother) that if we were at T2f and that he was dropping by. It was around 8 when he and 2 friends walked in. After greeting them, they saw my work… Anams work and were now on a round to check other artists work while S and A went out for a smoke break saying.. we’ll be back in a bit.

With all the good, came in the bad.

I clicked a picture of R and Y, while they checked out Uth Oye! shirts and asked which one was better. The next thing I hear is this armed guy telling me ‘aap camera wali madam, neechay hojain’. My first thought, who the hell are YOU!? then I was pulled away by someone and I heard someone saying ‘these are thieves, sit down’ :!

There were around 30 or so people at T2f that instance including artists and the staff at T2f. We were all asked to sit down in a corner. Apparently there were 4 men and out of which 2 were armed. Where I sat, the pillar was right in front of me so all I saw was 1 guy pointing his gun on us on and off asking for everything we had. Phones, wallets, watches etc. Most people had their laptops and DSLR’s with them like I had mine in my hand. When I sat down, a zillion thoughts came to my mind while I prayed Ayat-ul-kursi. I started going numb, arms raised and my heart pounding as if it were about to burst.

I dont know how my reflexes worked, with my hands trembling I covered my DSLR with a few magazines that were placed on a low table right in front of me, put my hand in my kurta pocket and switched my phone off. We were told to look to the floor and NOT look up and if any of us played smart, they’d kill us. There was silence and a thumping heart beat and my own lips whispering Ayat-ul-kursi. While I had my eyes to the floor, I saw a laptop right in front of me. I picked a few more magazines and covered the laptop too, a zillion thoughts rushing through the brain. I look up, I see Anam to my left. We share a glance and a feeling of helplessness. Right ahead I see R, he was trembling and reciting too. I look at Anam again and I whisper, ‘S and A are outside’. I kept praying that they dont come in since the looters were all set to leave, after collecting everybody’s valuables. I look towards the door and I see them walking in. S looked at me and figured what was happening, and there! Their phone and wallets gone too.

7 minutes seemed like 80 years. The guy held his gun up and asked all of us to lie down, heads down and said, if anyone of us tried to move before they left they’ll shoot us. The moment froze. I heard the door close and their was chaos. Everyone got up, helping others around, hugging each other, Thanking Allah Mian that all of us were left unharmed, after all we were all in an enclosed space. Anything could have happened, like anything!!! We ALL sure must have done at least some good in life that Allah Mian saved us *Shukar Alhamdolillah* I looked for my bag which was placed at the bookshelf behind my stall. I found it on the floor, empty. My wallet was gone with cash and bank cards etc. Most of all, we all were alive. The next thing was to leave the venue and get home straight since there was no cash with anyone to even have food.

My hearts still thumping, it was a traumatic experience. What killed me and everyone else was the feeling of being helpless. The guys were armed. Nothing is larger than life itself. Alhamdolillah, I saved my camera and phone but lost the feeling of freedom that was left in me. I’m recovering fast from the shock, because of the the other 29 people who were held hostage with me. We share a bond that none other would understand. May Allah Mian protect us all and that these muggers payback a price unimaginable. Ameen.

Thanks to Sabeen Mahmud, Rabeea Arif and Mariam Bilgrami for all their support during the 2 day event and afterwards. Love to T2f!


Indulgence

Just last night i indulged myself in some ME time. I’d say though i have some time off from school aka a winter break i havent really given time to myself, my thoughts… in other words the much required ‘me time’. So i stepped outside.. the cold winds.. the traffic.. the darkness..My Chand mian… the stars.. everything was the same..the rooftop seemed lonely.. I hadnt really spent time there. I climbed the real rooftop(yes i am very daring that way) sat there for an hour or so..hummed a few songs..chilled.
I kept thinking..whts this life all about? Why am i working so hard.. that i’m not being able to give time to myself. Not that i’m complaining but just thinking aloud. Later i sat on the jhoola.. swinging.. back and forth.. back and forth..I clicked a few pictures. Enjoyed holding my OWN camera. Its a feeling only I know…the sense of achievement 🙂 Alhamdolillah!
Thanking Allah Mian at every step of life. Creating new stuff..Life’s good.
Looking forward to the new year.. new beginnings.. new goals.. new deadlines.
but but.. Allah Mian.. Whats the plan? 😉


Socks and Winters <3

I love winters! Although i am one person who feels terribly cold even when no one feels it.
I’d wear socks and a sweater and still my fingers and toes would be dangerously cold!
Heres to Winters and My love for sockies. specially.. wiggly toes! 😀

ps: wiggly toe socks make me Happy! Really happy =)


The glow

The sun..the glow
a sneak preview that made me happy
leaving the positive energy…
the energy that remains..and here i am..
yet again..
spreading happy vibes and sharing kitkats.
Allah Mian shukr.


Allah Mian, Whats the plan?

Allah Mian is always good to us, someway or the other. He has a plan for everyone and it IS a good plan. Well yea, most of the times I am convinced. There are some parts of your life that you thoroughly enjoy, while some suck the fun out of it; some very tough and some sail by smooth. Some parts make you strong, stronger than before while some come back and worry you. Some parts of your life are like candies, they taste well and then they vanish. Some parts you never imagine them to be like the way they are while some make you the person you are.
There have been several parts of my life that made me the person that I am. I became stronger than before, more confident, independent and devoted. I became happier as a person. My faith went high. I became more n more patient. I thanked Allah mian for every little thing He gave me. Loving parents, two precious brothers, a sister-like bhabi, 2 beautiful nieces, an awesome bunch of friends, S, Choti – a sister I always wished for, a satisfying job, a running business and lots more.
There are times when I want things to happen there n then. I become impatient. I want to know whats ahead of me, but then knowing whats ahead of me will kill the fun. While there are times I become all strong only because that would be the best option and later things come back rolling pulling me back in the den.
Yesterday was just great. Other than me being tired and running around all day, what made me happy was to meet old friends, having the precious one around to help and just be there. Choti’s firefly becoming a hit (Alhamdolillah), scrutinizing a camera which will become our property soon Inshallah. Dinner with the crazy clan and chai back home.
Things are good.
But but Allah Mian, I have a question.

Whats the plan??