Thoughts

2014 aagya!

Dayem, I havent been around here for a long long time! But I sure have my reasons! Life has been a total whirlwind. An absolute crazy happy busy one!

2013 was busy! There was lots that has happened. Got married and found a best friend for life. Alhamdolillah. And then post halfway conceived and life changed even further. Bearing a child inside you is the most precious fulfilling feeling one can treasure for ever! You get to produce a little person whom you will be able to call your OWN for life! Awaiting this little persons arrival soon now. Inshallah!

2014 – you seem promising. We as a family are looking forward to building memories, memories that we will cherish all out lives. Baby janaabs arrival is the biggest milestone we are awaiting. Please keep us in your prayers.

Allah mian, thankyou SO much for being oh so mehrbaan on our family 😀

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Of keeping calm and giving comforting hugs

Faith in God, includes faith in His timing’ – Neal A.Maxwell

Being a teacher has been a great experience so far. Every day I tend to learn something new. Be it regarding a student, myself, design, color or just life in general. Just 5 days back me and Sabiha (another faculty member, friend and sister) took the 3rd year students for a study visit to Abbottabad to study crafts for a project. We were a group of 31 individuals- all girls- 2 teachers and 29 students. They say girls are always a bunch of FUN! True that. There was music, singing, work, sketches, clicking, arguments, laughter, dance, food, walks in the rain, prayers, bathroom lines and emergency loo breaks. We took the Bhoja air flight till Islamabad.

2 days later we hear of a Bhoja Air plane crash. Hell ran over us. There was chaos. Alhamdolillah we all were safe but fellow humans had passed away. 127 of them. It wasnt easy to take it in knowing that we DID come from Bhoja Air and were booked for the same to return back to khi. The girls were traumatized, they cried. Ran over to me for a hug. I HAD to keep calm and give them the faith that it’ll be alright. Inshallah we will be able to reach home safe. Switched flights to PIA. Chucked down a day from the trip since we got a flight a day before. There was a delay in flight, waited patiently, tired to the core, to reach home, see the family and hit bed.

All kinds of thoughts occurred in my head… overflowing negativity, weird feeling of being away from home. Anything could have happened, CAN happen. But travelling alone and being responsible for a large group of students are two different things. Keeping calm and giving comforting hugs was what I did. Alhamdolillah the students felt secure. They smiled, they laughed. They felt better 🙂

All those wonderful people who made it to Allah mian had goals to achieve, lives to live. All gone in a jiffy. Say a lil prayer for them and their families. *amen*

Faith in Allah mian and calls from friends and family is what kept me going… yes I did feel a knot in the throat but im only human to feel that way. Experiences like these teach me SO much. About people, about life, about handling things, about keeping calm, giving faith and smiling 🙂

Allah mian, Thankyou for being SO meherbaan on all of us. You sure are the one Who writes the Master Plan.

*Allah Shukar*


Of Faith and other stories :)

So lately I’ve been reading Tuesdays with Morrie (again). Cant get enough of that book. How life is for most of us, how we deal with it, how we should deal with it, looking back at it later how we should have dealt with it. Life had a different meaning till a few years back. Things changed, people changed, I changed, times changed.. circumstances keep changing. Sometimes a downer, most of the times a wow-er 🙂 Life is the biggest of tests we’re going through. Rough patches make us tougher and stronger than we were before. We start looking at things differently. We think maturely, we become mature… and I say that is for the better. There are some who give up, most of them fight it… like I do.

Nobody said this life would be easy. Everyday is a challenge; be it work, family, projects, clients, siblings, friends, close friends or your own faith. Theres so much happening around us everyday that the day runs by. I stop and think.. WHERE are we going? WHAT is happening? WHY is this happening? So yes I am as inquisitive as child who wants to know all the W’s of it all! Sometimes i have answers in front of me and at other times I look for them.

Talking to a friend about faith last night, he said everybody needs to go through it on their own to believe in how things work. One cant impose it on them. I thought to myself, when I talk about faith in whatever happens, happens for a reason and that it is what Allah Mian wrote for us.. Am I imposing it on people? or am I just sharing it with them and giving them hope that yes it WILL become better (that was just me thinking out aloud).

Later he shared these lyrics and I couldnt stop smiling…

Slipping away, I think I’m gonna crack
Misplaced trust, loyalty stabbed in the gut
I feel, I’m seeing so clear
I thought I was never coming back
I’ve been down for awhile,
And now I’m coming back…
_Anathema

Realizations hit hard! I think i have a bump on my head because of it.


Art Lootmar II – T2f

Art Lootmar II, happened on the 18th and 19th of June 2011. It was an event I was looking forward to. Had always been part of T2f(The second floor) virtually so was excited to be part of this exhibit amongst 12 other young artists. I was participating with my work from Ghazal Pirzada Creeative Studios. There was Anam Haleem(a friend and brother), Friends from Kaghaz kay karnamay, Mahin and the Ayesha’s from the Indus clan and a few others part of the troop. The first day went by great! With friends, family, colleagues and other artists from the community visiting, the highlight was Haider Ali’s live demo on his Truck Art paintings. The evening went by fast and I left for home happy and very satisfied with my participation at the Art Lootmar II at T2f.

The second day which was a Sunday, the show was open from 12pm onwards. We(me, S and Anam) decided to go in the evening. We reached around 6 and were to leave around 9 after pack up. It was the last day for the exhibit. We sat and chatted. T2f has a very comfortable and casual setting to it. We sat on the floor,resting on the bricked pillars, clicking pictures. I got a message from R(another brother) that if we were at T2f and that he was dropping by. It was around 8 when he and 2 friends walked in. After greeting them, they saw my work… Anams work and were now on a round to check other artists work while S and A went out for a smoke break saying.. we’ll be back in a bit.

With all the good, came in the bad.

I clicked a picture of R and Y, while they checked out Uth Oye! shirts and asked which one was better. The next thing I hear is this armed guy telling me ‘aap camera wali madam, neechay hojain’. My first thought, who the hell are YOU!? then I was pulled away by someone and I heard someone saying ‘these are thieves, sit down’ :!

There were around 30 or so people at T2f that instance including artists and the staff at T2f. We were all asked to sit down in a corner. Apparently there were 4 men and out of which 2 were armed. Where I sat, the pillar was right in front of me so all I saw was 1 guy pointing his gun on us on and off asking for everything we had. Phones, wallets, watches etc. Most people had their laptops and DSLR’s with them like I had mine in my hand. When I sat down, a zillion thoughts came to my mind while I prayed Ayat-ul-kursi. I started going numb, arms raised and my heart pounding as if it were about to burst.

I dont know how my reflexes worked, with my hands trembling I covered my DSLR with a few magazines that were placed on a low table right in front of me, put my hand in my kurta pocket and switched my phone off. We were told to look to the floor and NOT look up and if any of us played smart, they’d kill us. There was silence and a thumping heart beat and my own lips whispering Ayat-ul-kursi. While I had my eyes to the floor, I saw a laptop right in front of me. I picked a few more magazines and covered the laptop too, a zillion thoughts rushing through the brain. I look up, I see Anam to my left. We share a glance and a feeling of helplessness. Right ahead I see R, he was trembling and reciting too. I look at Anam again and I whisper, ‘S and A are outside’. I kept praying that they dont come in since the looters were all set to leave, after collecting everybody’s valuables. I look towards the door and I see them walking in. S looked at me and figured what was happening, and there! Their phone and wallets gone too.

7 minutes seemed like 80 years. The guy held his gun up and asked all of us to lie down, heads down and said, if anyone of us tried to move before they left they’ll shoot us. The moment froze. I heard the door close and their was chaos. Everyone got up, helping others around, hugging each other, Thanking Allah Mian that all of us were left unharmed, after all we were all in an enclosed space. Anything could have happened, like anything!!! We ALL sure must have done at least some good in life that Allah Mian saved us *Shukar Alhamdolillah* I looked for my bag which was placed at the bookshelf behind my stall. I found it on the floor, empty. My wallet was gone with cash and bank cards etc. Most of all, we all were alive. The next thing was to leave the venue and get home straight since there was no cash with anyone to even have food.

My hearts still thumping, it was a traumatic experience. What killed me and everyone else was the feeling of being helpless. The guys were armed. Nothing is larger than life itself. Alhamdolillah, I saved my camera and phone but lost the feeling of freedom that was left in me. I’m recovering fast from the shock, because of the the other 29 people who were held hostage with me. We share a bond that none other would understand. May Allah Mian protect us all and that these muggers payback a price unimaginable. Ameen.

Thanks to Sabeen Mahmud, Rabeea Arif and Mariam Bilgrami for all their support during the 2 day event and afterwards. Love to T2f!


Day 2 – The rooftop

Anyone who knows me well, would know that i am inspired by nature… the sky. the clouds. the stars. the sun. THE chand mian 🙂
Being blessed with the most beautiful rooftop one can have in the city of chaos… is a Charm. I can spend an entire night sitting outside my apartment and enjoy the thandii hawaainat the rooftop. open skies. cars passing by. birds flying by. sparkling stars. charming Chand mian. the fresh air that gives you goosebumps. the traffic signal lights that always intrigue me. racing bikers. struggling rickshaws. Sigh.

Sometimes i capture the most beautiful scenery where i see rumbling skies, strokes from nature that only Allah Mian can create. My faith high… i sit there.. sometimes clicking pictures of what i see.. at other times i find myself mesmerized by what i see that i forget to click.

The rooftop is an inspiration for me, i’ve spent countless owl nights swinging by the jhoola. When kesc decides to take away the luxury, i run to the rooftop Check more work inspired by the rooftop here.


Love-ness and the likes.

I enter the gates of my workplace. I see foundies holding red balloons. I love balloons but not red ones.. blue and black and white.. or happy yellow ones. We exchange smiles. They’re all unusually bright and happy. I walk ahead.. I look to my right.. I see red.. and I turn to my left.. more red. *shudders*

I was wearing a happy pink scarf, had no clue that everybody would associate the pink as a ‘red’ as well. So I walk up the stairs and a student joins me and says, “Happy valentine’s day!! Where is your red?” I answer “Heyy.. Well, pink is the new red!!” and we both laughed.

I couldn’t believe myself, did I just say.. “PINK is the new red”. Aaaaa.aaaaaaa *faints*

Well yes I did and that was my escape remark whenever someone asked where MY red was! Hahaaaa…
So there was ‘red day’ celebration at school. The students were all dressed up in various shades of reds, the boys had something red on as well. A belt qualifies too! It was fun to see them all excited. One guy said, “Miss u know what, We’re not celebrating Valentine’s day.. It’s just the color red. We’re celebrating the color RED”

Well whatever made them happy 🙂 There were heart-shaped cookies and cupcakes and the likes. Upon looking down my office, I could see a trail of red ants. Well yeahh 4th floor, aerial view. Every person dressed in red looked like a red ant. And no I am not anti-love-ly. I just feel overdoing it… kinda kills it.

Love is everywhere, You can feel it every day, its there in every little moment of your life.
U just need to have that heart, eye and courage to get past it.

Happy love day ya’all!!!
Hope it was Lovely 😉


I run to u..

I run from hate, I run from prejudice
I run from pessimists, but i run too late
I run my life or is it running me, run from my past
I run too fast or too slow it seems
When lies become the truth
Thats when i run to you

These words pierce through me
They make sense and then they dont
They make me happy and sad at the same time
The thinker in me wakes up
oooooohhh.. and the rooftop is where i run to
Thankyou Allah Mian for an amazing rooftop experience
*big satisfied smile*