OREO brain damage. 12.04.2010

When you’re high on oreo cream. THIS is bound to happen. Enjoy!

Ba, Bahu aur WHO?

There once was a little sheep! The Sheeps name was ba! Every now and then ba would sit quietly amongst fellow sheep yet feel lonesomely alonesome and think, what purpose does life serve.

Days wen’t by as routine, ba grazed as any sheep would, but unlike all other sheep, ba would look up to the sky with a very different vision, a very questioning vision.

And then to ba’s surprise, the farmer had visitors one day, accompanied by 3 little darling children. Kookie, a 8 year old girl, wearing a pink n purple frock with laces and glittering borderlines. To ba’s surprise, Kookie was a princess who never wore a crown because she never needed one, any crown would depreciate the glow she radiates naturally. By her side was Ken. Ken was no average child either, and neither was ken any special. Unlike Kookie Ken did not sparkle with Royal beauty, to say the least ken was a very average farmer’s boy. a checked red shirt with short and a set of suspenders, ken had neither the beauty of physical attraction, not the intimidating strength of a strong man. Yet there was something special about Ken, his eyes. A cold pair of eyes that radiated passion. A dead pair of eyes that shows how the mental clockwork on this boy would never cease to build up on how this world does what it does. Within a look at this wooly creature, Ken had nothing but passion to learn more about this furry wooly animal. What intimidated ba about Ken by this time, giving ba goose bumps and the break of a sweat, was whether Ken would slice ba into a million pieces to learn more about him, or just throw a stick and yell fetch and push and shove until ba resorted to being a dog instead (which might not be that bad a change from the routine monotony)

Between being mesmerized by a princess’s beauty and being agitated by a pair of dead passionate eyes, ba failed to notice the third toddler who had by then crawled up to ba’s side and started using ba’s wooly attire as his face cloth. The toddler would win any heart any day, big gleaming eyes with a huge smile plastered across the cheeks, it wasn’t until little boot (thats what they called the toddler) pulled a handful of ba’s fur that he snapped back into reality.

“little boot, no! Bad baby”, said kookie as she picked little boot up to save the sheep from some further serious pain, for the baaaahhhhahaaa in ba’s voice made her realize the little jolt of agony that little boot had provided for ba.

“Lets feed him”, said Ken as he pulled a pack of cookies from his pocket and ripped it open without prior approval from the princess herself.

“Thats for little boot………no…………mom said………………. ……………………. is he eating it already?”, said Kookie, by which time ba had almost devoured an entire creamy cookie that ken had already thrown to him.

But toddlers will remain toddlers to be, as Little Boot started hollering to the top of his lungs when he saw his cookies being fed to the sheep.

Immediately Ken lost possession of the pack of cookies as the older princess finally took charge and snatched the cookies from ken and gave one from the pack to little boot to “SHUT HIM THE HELL UP”!!!! Little boot started enjoying his cookie like any child would stiffling his little year old sobs. Within minutes little boot resorted to what children do best, open a cookie, lick the cream, and throw the buscuit. And with Kookie’s ingenious scheme, the three children had not 1 but 3 packs of cookies as Kookie pulled out 2 more packs, handing one to Ken and keeping another one to herself as the children sat under the shade of a tree.

ba had by then tasted the essence of this man made gift of god, a creamy wonder bordered by a thick crunchy buscuit that tasted better than any grass ba had grazed upon. Anticipating atleast another crunchy creamy treat from his new found friends, he was only challenged to the wits of patience as each child sat there opening cookie after cookie and licking the cream off the biscuit while throwing the crunchy buscuit to ba for his special treat.

The children soon finished up their cookies, played around a little in the field and finally wen’t back in before the noon sun struck high and the scorching heat took over all life.

As ba sat there under the same tree, he had eaten a stomach full of cookies but was still vengeful. None of the left over cookies from the children tasted as good as the first treat he ate, equipped completely with 2 sides of buscuits and a cream center.

Thus ba vowed, vowed in the name of sheep kind that he shall never again graze on anything but a complete cookie, that he shall starve to death or he shall eat cookie.

What happened there forth, is a story untold. Some legends say ba refused to graze, soon fell ill due to the prolonged hunger, and finally passed on to the afterlife, resting peacefully for eternity and grazing on a field of cookies above the clouds somewhere.
Another legend tells that the anguish and anxiety of not having another cookie to graze on converted the once wooly animal into a mutated species that hunted human souls unless fed cookies. Some legends even say Ba was later asked to play the role of the Cookie Monster in Sesame Street later and he gladly accepted, changing the entire meaning of a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

While different legends come from different regions of the globe, the above three came from the very three people responsible for the initial act that was bestowed upon ba. The three angelic little demons named Kookie, Ken and Little Boot.

Whatever happened to the children, Kookie grew up to be the heart throb of the town, wearing the best dresses and roaming around with the best boys (not the angelic little princess we once knew atleast). Ken would lock himself up in his house for days at a time, not coming out into the morning sun until atleast one explosion occured in the basement of his barnyard residence, turning into a suit wearing fashionably attired scientist that the world praised. As for little boot, the bad egg learned from both his older sibling’s experiences, and taking to his name slowly transformed into a land pirate, a suit wearing tie knotting banker skullywag!

Many places in europe still light a candle under the peeking stars of the 5th night of Spring in memories of the three children and their sheep, some even have statues of ba to praise to the God of the Lambs and beg mercy and forgiveness in hopes of a better future and more cookies for themselves to eat.

Others form cult followings in praise of the little sheep ba, including bands like Lamb of God, who to this day praise the little lamb for its courage to stand up to the system and not be put down by the general audience and their audacity to rule with nothing.

As for us, we celebrated this little legend by covering up for the lost cream that little ba once craved with his cookies, creating a worldly balance to the once imbalanced world of the lamb!

Story by: Shamail Wasi 🙂

April 15, 2010 | Categories: creative juices., Life | 9 Comments